The incident took place in the fifth inning. Jarren Duran flipped off a fan sitting behind first base as he returned to the dugout after a groundout. The atmosphere at Target Field grew tense. At first, it seemed like Duran lost his nerve as the Red Sox greatly struggled.
But when the game concluded, Duran explained.
Turned out, the fan wasn’t just criticizing Duran’s performance. He targeted something deeply personal for Boston’s superstar. An inner demon he’s been fighting and conquering. And while he’s been winning the battle, some comments are still triggering.
Is it an excuse for his gesture? No.
But after giving the baseball sphere an explanation, Duran was showered with grace and compassion.
“Yeah, somebody just told me to kill myself,” Duran said after the game. “I'm used to it at this point. Things happen. I’m gonna flip somebody off if they say something to me, but it is what it is. I shouldn't react like that. That kind of stuff is still kind of triggering. It happens.” It’s another chapter in a lifelong journey—one he’s shared publicly to encourage others to seek help and not suffer alone. His message is clear: Don’t sit in the darkness alone.
Two years ago, the Red Sox outfielder opened up about his struggles with mental health in a Netflix documentary, The Clubhouse: A Year with the Red Sox, that aired last summer. The California native was drafted by Boston in 2018.
After developing his game and eventually shining in the minor leagues, he was invited to the Red Sox’s spring training in 2020. A year later, Duran made his MLB debut. He transformed himself into one of the top hitters in the minors; he was also labeled as one of the majors’ top prospects.
When he first suited up for Boston, nobody was surprised.
Dealing with pressure
Fans had high hopes for Duran. There was excitement. A promising future for a famous franchise that has been waiting for another World Series title since 2018. Thousands of kids dream about making it to the best baseball league in the world. Duran has done it.
Yet, the initial joy soon turned into sorrow.
Then anxiety. Then Depression.
Duran is a former infielder, but when he got called up to the majors, he switched to the outfield. The change and adaptation required an asset that proved to be tremendously precious in professional sports: time. The highest level is a cutthroat scenario with a line of players waiting for their chance. The formula is simple – overtime, if you don’t perform, you’re out.
The jump from the minors to the majors was challenging for Duran, and the pressure to achieve perfection started slowly sneaking up on him.
“I remember when I was going through it, and you start losing a couple of games, and you're not doing well, it feels like the world is kind of creeping in on you,” said Duran. In 2021 and 2022, he was walking through a deep valley, dealing with the lowest lows of his life. Eventually, the darkness swallowed every light, making Duran feel lost. He didn’t see a way out and wanted to end his life.
Thankfully, his suicide attempt was unsuccessful after his rifle jammed.
“To this day, I think God just didn’t let me take my own life because I seriously don’t know why the gun didn’t go off. I took it as a sign of, ‘I might have to be here for a reason,’ so that’s when I started to look at myself in the mirror after the gun didn’t go off,” Duran said in the documentary. He sought help and started getting better. As his mental health improved, his game naturally followed.
Breakthrough season
In 2023, he became consistent, and his performance started going uphill, earning him a regular spot in the lineup. He played in 102 games and hit .295 with 40 RBI and 24 stolen bases. His breakout season came in 2024 – Duran recorded multiple career highs, as we tallied 21 home runs, 111 runs, 75 RBIs, and 34 stolen bases. He hit at .285. His fantastic numbers earned him a spot in the All-Star Game, where he was named the MVP after hitting a home run that gave the American League game-winning runs. After the regular season concluded, the outfielder finished eighth in the MVP voting.
He also led the major leagues in plate appearances with 735.
His breakthrough campaign was full of highlights and accolades, but still suffered a setback. During one of the games against the Houston Astros at Fenway Park, a fan heckled Duran while batting. The broadcast radio then caught him saying “shut up, you f**king f***ot” as he lost his nerve.
He issued an apology, and the Red Sox suspended him for two games. Duran addressed the fans, saying that he was “gonna work on being better for them.”
That time, he had already opened up about his battle with mental health to the Netflix producers. But the public didn’t learn about his demons until a year later.
Sharing his fight
“Jarren’s decision to share his story is an act of courage that reaches far beyond baseball,” Red Sox president and CEO Sam Kennedy said. “By opening up, he's showing others who may be struggling that they're not alone and that asking for help isn't just OK, it's essential.”
Above all, athletes are human. They make both good and bad decisions and experience challenges in life. Sometimes, they seem invincible. Sometimes, they are vulnerable and fragile – but professionals rarely show those moments, making it seem like they don’t exist. Duran’s openness serves as an example that the spotlight isn’t always bright.
Him sharing his journey has been bearing fruit. But being vulnerable still comes with a cost. It fuels the haters, who don’t hesitate to berate him. And while Duran strives not to let it affect him, he loses it at times. Like that April night in Minnesota.
“Honestly, it’s my fault for talking about my mental health because I kind of brought in the haters. So, I’ve just got to get used to it,” he said. “I was just trying to hold it in and not really bring that up to the team. I mean, we’re trying to win a game. I shouldn’t even bring that up to anybody. It just happens.” Still, he doesn’t regret sharing his story. He emphasizes that asking for help isn't a weakness. Progress isn’t linear—he continues to work through it with journaling, affirmations, and positive self-talk.
“On the tape on my left wrist, I write, ‘F--- ‘em,’ because it’s me telling my demons, ‘You’re not going to faze me’,” Duran said in the docuseries. “And on my right wrist, I write, ‘Still alive’ because I’m still here and I’m still fighting.”
Duran wants to be here. Paving the way for those who follow.